Parenting & Family
Instructions for Russell
(Your child does come with directions.) Your life will never be the same. It’s a lifetime commitment, you’ve made a commitment forever. I remember when my...
How the Diplomate Reminded me that Parenting is Great!
Watching a show like the “Diplomate” reminds me of why I was so happy to have children. There are several childless couples in this show and they are all...
How to Raise Responsibility
Action and Consequence Actions create more actions, sometimes as consequences, sometimes as meh. More often than not it’s a consequence that follows an...
$hitty to be Disabled
It was one of those days when it was $hitty to be disabled. Not because I thought it was $hitty but because others just didn’t want to understand what it’s...
Gaslighting equals Controlling the Narrative
Again, I’ve been watching this behavior all of my life and want to give good examples to help people identify when gaslighting is happening in their life....
Girl, He’s Gaslighting You
Recently, my son sent his daughter a meme that showed a daughter being sad because her addict dad died while and when she was still angry with him for...
Young Women Please Embrace Sex
I didn’t realize that so many young women have no idea how to treat their own sexuality. I thought it was either organic or by osmosis. I grew up with books...
RAISING CHILDREN AND BEING HUMAN, or NOT
Notes from a Parent Realizing a Child is Addicted and Wishing her own Mother was Alive / Circa 2001 This book is not about my mother, who has been the sole...
Incest, Molestation, Sexual Abuse, Of Course, Pedophilia
When you are the molester, and the abuser, this is what is true about you, here are the things that must be true in order for you to be the perpetrator: You...
To People Born in the 80s & 90s
https://themammablog.com/2025/02/16/what-american-poverty-is-and-is-not/
What American Poverty is and is NOT
Which is nothing like African poverty or Russian poverty, it is not to be compared with other countries. This document is about American poverty only. “I was...
An Important Pain Recognition for Fibromyalgia Sufferers
https://www.nytimes.com/2025/01/12/magazine/chronic-pain.html?smid=url-share
Coping with the Holidays
The overall secret sauce to great holidays is planning. I want to say that there are some things that you can do and I am sure that there are. I also want to...
Female Signs of Childhood Sexual Abuse
Johanna Baynard Oct 26, 2024 Have you ever looked at someone’s school pictures and noticed a sequence of pictures where a dramatic change has occurred? It...
Having Children, Or Not?
That is the question for young people today. I’m asking to comment on this question, as it is one that has occurred in my home many times. The very first...
Grieving my Body in Illness
I learned to grieve early. But not about me. I learned to grieve about relationships, losing them. And the worst, losing people I loved. Sometimes, as...
And Then I Was Done
Mothering Addiction And You’re so Angry With Me Why? You could have asked me any question, at any time. You didn’t. Instead, you used the time to attack, to...
The Fibro Flare and Me
Take the Hint I knew something was wrong because my fibromyalgia was acting up. Randomly a touch became torture because of the pain that bloomed insistent...
What Price for Violating my Boundaries
You have to take care of yourself to take care of your relationship. If you are not consciously aware of your boundaries you can ruin your relationship with...
My Daughters Myself
Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash Rhea manages me, there is no if and or maybe about it. Last year I brought up vaccines (a subject we disagree about). She...
My Son Russell
And he doesn’t even like that; the first thing I ever gave him was his name, and he doesn’t like it. He goes by Russ. Russ & his Mother: JB Collection...
Good Question
When do you get to the point when mothering is secondary, like - NOT at the top of the list? Does worrying ever go away? When do I focus on me, yes me, and...
What you need to Know about Life in 2023
Serendipity is your friend. People are beautiful, but only if you believe it. A big smile helps. Changes don’t trickle in; they move with a big whoosh. Move...
My Baby, The Woman
As I bear witness to my granddaughter’s transformation, I reflect on what my mother told me. My granddaughter is changing into a woman. I can see the change...
What my life has taught me about Forgiveness: FORGIVENESS 2022
I have a long and complicated relationship with forgiveness. At first, I couldn’t do it because I equated forgiveness with allowing the other person to get...
Vendettas and What you do With What Others do to You
My life lived didn’t start out so great. I did the usual (in my neighborhood and my time), got pregnant, in a bad relationship, married and divorced. My...
The Subconscious Speaks
Have you ever been confused by your actions? The issue is that my heart wants something and I’m not making it happen. For many months I have been confused by...
The Hospital is an Awful Experience.Full Stop
Between Acute Pain, Acute Ignorance and the Opiate Death Crisis Random thoughts after surgery: It was so surreal that I lost my time and space in the...
Hiding Toilet Paper from my Husband
Photo by visuals on Unsplash This is how it started: My disease (fibromyalgia) did me in. Over time, it’s gotten worse and my ability to participate (in...
9/19 The Best Day ~
It is the way of humans to see that each generation is an improvement upon the last. I remember that gorgeous day when she was born like it was yesterday. I...
Disability Acceptance Continued
One More Disability Disappointment I’m young! Accepting my disability has been a challenge. Sometimes, I am vastly miserable under the weight of the pain of...
Addiction and Anger: The Happy Couple
I get that working with an addicted loved one can be traumatizing and cause anger and pain. What I don’t get is all of the anger pushed outward, to be pressed...
To Honor my Disability
I Require that my disability is honored. And yet, you get angry with me because "I can’t". Your able-bodied self can’t imagine being disabled. You think I...
Mother’s Day
And I sure know what I am talking about. So, I am a mother, and I am old enough (62) that I don’t have a mother. Actually, it’s been 25 years since my mother...
Synchronicity
My grandson loves synchronicity. He is 11 years old, a computer genius and a lovely young man. When he sees it, he has to tell his mother all about it. I am...
Transforming Relationships
Johanna, who is my daughter, is the antithesis of me. I have always been the typical clean freak, always. I am also very organized. I needed to be, I was...
Students Falling Behind: SO WHAT?
The educators are saying “they are falling behind and it breaks our hearts”. Why, if everyone is falling behind then why can’t we do this whole year over...
The Thing about Love: THAT IS IMPORTANT TO KNOW
Photo by Amy Shamblen on Unsplash I may know this thing that I am about to tell you about and at some time I forgot this thing. I remember now; this lesson. I...
O’ Beautiful, Child of Mine
I come here to these pages to work through my relationship with my daughter. There are not too many guidebooks on parenting adults. The guidebooks are always...
Love is Not Enough
All through this week, I've been getting the signal that loving people is not enough to make my relationships what I want them to be. My daughter left our...
Being Ignored
If you are ignored by a group of people; they just don't acknowledge you. How do you feel? It is a very strange experience and the resulting emotions are...
Where the Pain Goes
My friend's article and today inspired me: Sometimes the pain is just a hum in the background of my experience. I can distract myself from it. I can do chores...
Parenting for Covid-19
We act like we can’t stand our own children What the hay? Everyone keeps meme-ing about giving teachers a jillion dollars and how hard it is to spend the day...
He Brought His Grief with Him
darya tryfanava on Unsplash He brought his grief with him. He apologized for interrupting me. He was completely unconscious of his thoughts and...
A Son
Kahlil Gibran said something to the effect of: your children are not of you, but move through you. They have their own path to be taken by them and not you. I...
Incest
Vlad Kutepov with Unsplash If I didn’t understand trauma informed care, I wouldn’t understand her story. She told me that she couldn’t exercise because...
From All Mothers, Everywhere
To my son the drug addict… Jeremy Paige on Unsplash What did I miss? What difference would it make to this adulthood, this one, the one that you have...
Becoming Codependent
Baynard 9/2017 Codependence is usually portrayed as an extremely negative characteristic. Most writing includes a lot of judgment and blame for the...
Child of Mine, I Have Words for You
Words, words, words. I have so many words for you, child of mine I have words for your child too I want to let you know what I know of the world I want to...
Parenting 200
We begin parenting in earnest... As I get older and embrace being a grandparent, I see myself moving farther and farther away from parenting. What I have...