Repeating, Wondering, Turning, Getting & Desiring

I am constantly repeating myself to doctors. I’m explaining my medication and my health goals. Doctors don’t listen very well.

I am wondering why doctors can’t understand a wholistic view of my health. Why must I go to so many doctors to get an understanding of what is happening with my body? Pain management, Rheumatologist, Endocrinologist, gastroenterologist, general practitioner, orthopaedic surgeon. Theoretically my GP should be managing all of the pieces of my health care and coordinating that care. I have never met a GP who was interested or prepared to do that.

I am turning to alternative medicine. These practitioners are kinder and more welcoming. They don’t have answers either, but at least they are interested. CBD oil anyone?

I am getting tired, indeed, I am exhausted by the pursuit of wellness. Sometimes the news is good, sometimes it is bad. Mental health is a problem. I have been diagnosed with dysthymia recently. Ugh.

I am desiring that my disability claim is approved. I have worked very hard all of my life. For over a decade I had two jobs. I went to school at night to increase my earnings. I have been working since 1972. Why would they deny my disability benefits? What work can I do with exhaustion and brain fog taking over my life. We manage my pain in a painful way: surgeries, cortisone shots, trigger point injections and Neurontin. I cannot function in a professional environment. Why is my claim for disability being denied. I desire fairness in this world.

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