That Day; Deep in the Pain

One of those days

I spent most of my time, googling the pain in my body parts. I’m shuffling around the house, my feet in large socks.

The intermittent pain is sharp and harsh. The chronic pain that just lays there seeking an answer is a low moan in my body. It reaches to my lungs crushing the carefree activity of breathing.

I can’t get a break from the pain. This is the longest I remember of having continuous pain that just won’t break. It started with kidney pain and that pain was brutal. Then the pain morphed into this continuous ache that just won’t recede.

It’s not the usual fibromyalgia pain, oh no. This is something different. This is my slow functioning kidney pain. That’s why I keep googling. It is by turns moving through my body. It was in my back on my right and now it is in my front. It makes me breathless.

I am so tired. I sleep at least ten hours a night. Sometimes I sleep twelve. Being sick is a “me-focused” activity. I hardly have time to talk with anyone else. I don’t want to speak with anyone.

I have great difficulty getting anything done. Nothing gets completed anytime soon, it all takes at least two days.

I sit still in my chair and no matter what position I am in: it hurts. My back hurts, then my thigh and my leg and before you know it, I am deep in the rabbit hole.

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