I may know this thing that I am about to tell you about and at some time I forgot this thing.

I remember now; this lesson. I think this lesson is important. I want to remind you so that you don’t make mistakes with an excellent person whom you love.

I’ve always been *like my mother* who had so many children she lived in overwhelm. Her love for you was more like a benign awareness. She always responded to help you, but she was never first to communicate. I felt her in my background: a trusty tree that I could always navigate home to. I was lucky, I always felt loved.

Recently *as my husband shows me* I realize that the benign love is not enough. When I look back at the times I was lonely; I would have done anything for an expression of love. I know that during my loneliest times, I would save every expression of love so that I could go over it again and again. You could find dozens of Hallmark cards stuffed into notebooks and boxes. I also kept all of my pictures, all of the time.

I am a middle child. I am capable of contentment, all by myself, without assistance or company from anyone else. This doesn’t equate with having no need for love. I need love and its expression as much as anyone else needs love. The key is that I need the expression of love, as much as I need love. Being like my mother, leaves my children and my husband without the benefit of my expression of love towards them.

This is key because much of what love can do for you is through the expression of that love. Without the expression of love, love can be unknowable.

If you want people that you love to know they are loved, you must let them know. And no, birthdays and Christmas acknowledgments are not enough. Those contacts can be singularly obligatory. And yes, they can look that way too.

Without expressions of love your loved ones won’t feel it. They won’t know of your love, nor how much you love. As much as you love, they won’t know that you love them.

And Do you Love Them?

Regret is often a product of unexpressed love. Why don’t we communicate the richness of our love? Why can’t we do these difficult things like telling each other how important we are to each other? Why can’t we say how happy we are to be together? Why can’t we say what matter is love?

Why can’t we do these things for each other? The answer is that we can.

Let each other know beyond a shadow of a doubt, how important we are to each other, with our children, our spouse, our siblings, our parents and our friends.